10 Fool Proof Ways to Get Cheated on!

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Last post made 14 years ago by Lipstick
Lipstick
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  • Here are 10 wonderful ways to get cheated on...

    1)  Argue uncontrollably about the remote control.

    2)  Always accuse your partner of cheating. Remain positive, in spite of any protesting, that it's really happening. Always take the victim role. This includes physical and verbal dramatization.

    3)  Apologize profusely for everything that you do. Then, cry if the apology is accepted.

    4)  Chomp your gum uncontrollably, blow bubbles, and twirl your hair, in public.

    5)  Refuse to have sex. Ever.

    6)  Show everyone how cool it is that you can put your whole fist in your mouth.

    7)  Constantly talk about how much you love yourself. (even if it contradicts numbers 2 and 3)

    8)  Never listen to what the other person says. When confronted, deny all accusations.

    9)  Balk like a chicken every time someone says the word "Yes". It's not your fault you got hypnotized in high school.

    10) Always be overly possessive and jealous. This includes calling your partner at work, at least 5 times,  and even more when your partner is out for a "night out".

    If ya have anymore ideas on how to get cheated on please share them!!!

    Lips
  • Your idea of a shower is putting cologne under the pits.

  • Never praise them for ANYTHING!

    I knew a guy whose wife fit 10 perfectly. She'd even stand near the warehouse doors and look in every so often. She worked nights and she'd be over at work 3-5 days a WEEK!! How she survived and him too, I just don't know or understand!

  • Lips...I still think we should hang that shingle together.......and charge $400 an hour to give out pithy facts and nod our heads and ask "how did that make you feel?"

  • Now now doc........you know the therapeutic effects of just being able to talk someone.......sometimes just anyone.

    Lips

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