Checked your mail lately?

Got this from a female I met on another social group.

Chain Letters

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past two years.

Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern......

I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our troops.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has been dying for the past seven years.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

---

Now to Return the Favor:

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00 PM and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer. So you'd better get going on that e-mail!!!

Runny bird duty and camel fleas  :'(

I only have 1199 friends.. OMG

Oh wait, i'll just send the last one back to you 

Surely there must be a rule here against posting chain letters unless marked "For Entertainment only"

Ohhh......I hate those things....every time I get those I start thinking to myself....I don't even have 5 people in my address book to foward this to, so wtf????

I've got about a dozen friends I COULD send it to .....but I think I'd rather keep them as my friends lmao.

These letters use scare tactics to get you to keep them going.
    "If you don't send out to at least 10 people, your going to have bad luck the rest of your life, and you'll die a painful death."
          I hate chain letters.

lol...my favorite ones are the ghost ones...they describe a gruesome death then claim if you don't send it to at least x amount of people then this person is gonna haunt, or kill you tonight!!! lololololol....................................where do people come up with this crap.................oh yeah and then there are the ones with the sappy story and if you don't pass this along to x amount of people then you are truly heartless and evil and your gonna go straight to hell.............a good friend of mine is famous for sending this kind of crap all the time...[she actually belives it], so now whenever i get an email from her i don't even bother to read it.....DELETE button works just fine for me!! If it's important she'll call