Cream in the Cabinet and Coffee Mug in the Fridge?

I am absolutely useless in the morning pre coffee.
Besides being an ogreistic Blondezilla, I put the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard but couldn't even count the times I've run the coffee maker thruough either forgetting the water or the coffee.
I literally REQUIRE coffee to MAKE coffee

When I was young, I once put away the groceries. Sadly, I put the Ice Cream in the lower cabinet and we didn't find it for 3 days! 

Mom watched me afterward VERY closely. 

I had a big oops recently: I placed a large salad in the oven trying to soften some butter. It shattered all over.  *I've done this before, but I usually levce the oven door open and come back in a minute of two.  Very embarassing (should be in the sin bin)  

lol lips,I keep all my lids in the same container but still have a problem finding the right one.

I have put my keys in the frig by mistake and thrown my remote in the garbage,took me all day before I'd admit to myself that's probably were it was...ick!!! amp; Also..not quite the same thing but I put a pizza in the oven and forgot to take the cardboard off first....no wonder it took forever to cook.. .

Great stories.  I've done the milk in the cupboard and coffee in the fridge thing.  I did throw away a whole (unopened) packet of cigs and kept the empty pack in error.  It wasn't until after the bins had been emptied the following day that I worked out what had happened to the cigs.

As for lids - I have loads of lids and nothing to put them on!

blue
 

Can anyone enlighten me as to where my tax documents have disappeared?

Jake always loses his cigarettes and accuses me of throwing them out or hiding them.  I've never touched them in 4 years, but I get accused almost daily when he is around. 

I do have lighters.  They all walk away.  I wonder how?

what im famous for is 2 things, i make my coffee in the morning, it brews and i pour a cup, i put the sugar got to the fridge and grab the coffee container instead of the creamer, ill get all the way to opening the can and making a scoop of grounds before i realize it's the creamer i need, the coffee is made, the other is when i goto light a cig, ill reverse the order of cig to lip and lighter flame to cig, ill find myself with flame to lips and cig a few inches away.. keys in fridge, sunglasses in the mailbox, poured the milk with no cereal, done all those things.. my greatest fear and what i'm always careful about i check a few times to make sure, is i don't someday put my thong on backwards, i know i've had them inside out, but backwards not yet.. whew!