Funniest Groucho Marx sayings

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Last post made 14 years ago by wnanhee
blueday
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  • blueday
  • United Kingdom Almighty Member 37999
  • last active 3 years ago

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  • blueday
    • Started by
    • blueday
    • at May 13, 11, 02:51:52 PM
    • United Kingdom Almighty Member 37999
    • last active 3 years ago

    Thanks for this post from:

    This thread is for Chilly who just made me howl with one of Groucho Marx sayings:

    ""Thirteen at a table is unlucky only when the hostess has only twelve chops." – Groucho Marx."

    The one I remember the most is:

    "I don't usually forget faces, but in your case I'll make an exception".

    I would love to hear some more of this hilarious man's one liners so please post them below if you know any (or find any).

    blue

  • chillymellow
    • Replied by
    • chillymellow
    • at May 13, 11, 02:53:32 PM
    • United States Mighty Member 3618
    • last active 4 years ago

    Thanks for this post from:

    "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."

  • Lipstick
    • Replied by
    • Lipstick
    • at May 13, 11, 03:00:44 PM
    • United States Almighty Member 13901
    • last active 2 months ago

    Thanks for this post from:

    Ok i had to google for this but i thought it was cute..........

    When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said "I was just whispering in her mouth".
  • JohnnyK
    • Replied by
    • JohnnyK
    • at May 13, 11, 03:03:17 PM
    • Romania Forum admin 30868
    • last active 1 year ago

    Thanks for this post from:

    "A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."

  • blueday
    • Replied by
    • blueday
    • at May 13, 11, 03:22:30 PM
    • United Kingdom Almighty Member 37999
    • last active 3 years ago

    These are brilliant.  Thank you.  Keep 'em coming.

    blue

  • chillymellow
    • Replied by
    • chillymellow
    • at May 13, 11, 06:00:10 PM
    • United States Mighty Member 3618
    • last active 4 years ago

    Thanks for this post from:

    I've accentuated my favorites from this bunch:

    A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

    Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

    Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

    From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

    Go, and never darken my towels again.

    I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.

    I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

    I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

    It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

    Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

    Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

    Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

    My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.

    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

    She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

    Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    Women should be obscene and not heard.

    I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
  • wnanhee
    • Replied by
    • wnanhee
    • at May 13, 11, 07:34:52 PM
    • United States Superstar Member 5413
    • last active 3 years ago

    Thanks for this post from:

    There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.

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