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I used to wonder why some people are so unhappy close minded and just all around a downer never happy about anything and the answer came to me today,because their just not happy with themselves.I often wear my heart on my sleeve (a set up for one unkind word or gesture)and i had decided to just treat people how they treat me but im not mean by nature.I have learned to accept myself for who i am and not try to change for noone.I had an unkind thing happen to me today when i was on the phone with my mother n law and she said something hurtful(i dont want to repeat it) and i started to respond in a hateful way but instead i made an excuse to get off the phone.I felt down all day.I wont give any 1 that kind of power over me anymore.I will continue to be me.I thought about letting her know that what she said hurt me but i decided to leave it alone.My question is how do you handle hurtful comments,or some1 just being plain out mean for no reason? :'( :'(

Rena, so sorry my dear friend.  I too wear my heart on my sleeve and 90% of the time gets no where. But you know what I can lay my head on my pillow at night with a clear conscious that I did everything I could possibly do that day to help anyone and everyone.

I had a bad day today with my BF he said some very hurtful things to me that made me feel like why am i even here. But, I just let it soak in for a while and I will hold my head up higher than him cuz I am the better person. Sometimes people are cruel and it is just in themselves to be mean by nature, I really dont get it. 

Oh my love, I know you are such a sweet person, and don't let ANYONE ever change that about you. You are such a great person, friend, mother..etc. You have had alot of obstacles in life, and you deserve to be happy, if people aren't going to surround you with happiness, don't surround yourself with them. We go way back pretty lady, and I don't like to hear people hurting you

LOVE YOU!


:-*

I know that for me..I just let it go.If I retaliate with unkind words or actions,it just makes me as small as they are.I don't sweat the small stuff (or small minded people).Life is too short.Continue to be yourself.

I simply take those hurtful 'comments' for what they are...just words.
For me, if someone says something that hurts my feelings, then I take a step back and think about why I'm hurt...there must be some truth in what they said if I'm hurt by it...then I go from there regarding how I deal with it.  If what they said is complete bs, then I just brush it off, if I am in a cool mood.  If at that time, I feel like being an ass and want to have some fun, then I'll fire back with my own crock of shitty words.  Bottom line is, I'm mentally mature enough to know that I can only be hurt by others' words as much as I allow.  
Now, hurting someone physically, thats a whole different issue.

For a year and a half I've been really darn unhappy with my sister over something someone told her about me and she assumed was true.  She didn't ask me, she just told me "and you did...".  I never said a word to her about it.  Lastnight I sent her a message and just told her I didn't appreciate her saying that and at the time didn't feel she deserved any response. And that to tell the truth she was wrong.  Ya know, she is a counselor, and has worked at battered women's shelters and goes on and on about her glorious self.  Never once has she said one word to me about the problems I have or offered help, advice, or sympathy.  I feel sorry for the people she sees, but maybe they all get good service and help from her.

She hasn't responded to me.  I really don't think she will.

rena.. never fear being humble.. listen a sec.. if you are to turn around and do exactly what she did.. then the words you describe as a mean or hurtful person is only decribing yourself.. stay above it always, your conscience will always be clear other then unintentional happenings which do happen sometimes never meaning to, you won't have to feel the pain they feel when they ever realize how hurtful they have been.. you'll have no regrets and live peaceful.

I know exactly what you mean Rena, for a long time I was - I don't want to say a mean person, but guarded, because I wasn't happy with some things in my life.  But instead of changing those things, it was a lot easier just to project outward.  Now.. now I am working on being me as well.  I actually had to make a big decision not to say anything back to an inlaw as well, my husband came home from picking up our kids on Sunday told me what my SIL said to him rudely and it took every ounce of restraint I had not to get her on the phone, text her, or email her my response.  I wasn't even there, I just heard it second hand but I was furious.  Does it matter what she said, was it true?  No.  It really wasn't, and that's what irritates me because she is just a gossip and scamp.  I decided not to stoop to her level and have her turn anything I say around.  But we will not be seeing them for a good while i guarantee it.  The best thing I can do is distance myself from the negativity.

well thank you all for your comments i spoke to my sister inlaw last night she came to visit the kids .I told her what her mom had said and she was upset .She said her mom will reap what she sows.Anyway thanks again today i can forgive her with a whole heart